Thanking Hashem

by Benji Raymond

Simcha was bored and didn't know what to do

he had played with his toys and was all in a stew

He asked his mom if she knew of something grand

anything, really, that wouldn't be so bland.

As she looked at the kitchen and garden with dread

Simcha's Mom let out a sigh and then she said

"You could do the dishes or mow the lawn,"

but Simcha declined as he gave a big yawn.

"Visit your Bubby Klein is what you can do

She always has a good story or two

See if perhaps she can tell one to you."

Before he knew it was a quarter to four

and Simcha was standing outside her door

Bubby Klein looked at Simcha and began to think.

She lowered her glasses as she gave him a wink

"It looks like you're looking for something to do

and I have just the idea for you!"

I will tell you a secret that you may not know

something that you can do as you grow

it will help you get through the tests of life

and as you know, the trials may be rife.

 

I will give you a gift and treasure it you will

it may even help you from getting ill

Bubby Klein handed Simcha some coins and a jar

Smiling she said: "This will get you far"

 

When Hashem does a kindness for you

and you will surely realise that there will be a few

Put one of these coins in this special jar

and a ray of light will ascend like a star.

Simcha got up with a jolt

as headed for the door with a bolt.

He now knew what he could do

something that would keep him busy for an hour or two.

He ran down the stairs as fast as a rocket

Hearing all the coins jingle in his pocket

He tripped and he flipped over a beam

flying through the air he gave out a scream.

He felt the pain from top to toe,

the black and blue started to show.

He bent down to pick up Bubbe Klein's gift

his eyes glazing over as his thoughts began to drift

He pondered to himself how bad it could have been

like landing in hospital or hurting his spleen.

The coin made a clink as he put one inside

the pain that he felt began to subside.

Simcha thought of the roof over his head,

his favourite toys and the Shabbos day spread.

The cholent, the kugel, the cake

and the other treats his Mommy liked to bake.

He thought of the bed he sleeps in at night

the wind, the rain, and the moonlight.

He mused how in winter he was warm

protected from the elements of the storm.

His thought of his arms, legs, and toes

and the fact that he didn't have any foes.

For his fingers, eyes and his feet

and all things in his life that were sweet.

He thought of his ears and his heart

and the selection of things they have at the kosher mart.

He was grateful for all he had to eat

not to mention the tasty yom tov meat.

He thought of every wonderful thing

as each coin he inserted made a cling.

He raced off to thank Bubby Klein,

for putting all his thoughts in line.

No longer would he kvetch or whine

His gratitude had become an eternal sign.

Our Coeliac Journey

Our Coeliac Journey

By Lauren Raymond

My precious daughter was diagnosed with coeliac disease. We took it well, better than I thought. This could possibly be because I already went through the tougher part of things weeks ago. 

 

Following years of intermittent stomach pain, these past 3 months have been cumulatively worse than her history. While we knew that our dear daughter did in fact carry the coeliac gene, it had not yet been activated. Some months back, she experienced a bad case of gastroenteritis, which in my opinion, was the trigger that shot the gene into activation. How a person gets gastroenteritis in lockdown goes to show the hashgacha pratis of it all. Since then, any gluten containing food she ate resulted in intense stomach cramps, some so debilitating that she was sweating, screaming, writhing in pain, asking me to say Tehillim for her, while my heart pounded and my tears flowed, as she asked me over and over why Hashem would do such things to her. I was left speechless and pained. 

 

So, crunch time came - we went for the blood test that would give us a clear indication of whether the antibodies in her gut were fighting against themselves and destroying their own body. It is hard taking a 7-year-old for a blood test, it is traumatic, but we got through it. After a few days, we had heard nothing from our doctor, so we thought no news was good news, but decided to book an appointment for the results in any case. 

 

The doctor called. She began by telling me the good results of all the various tests that were run through the blood test, a technique possibly learnt at medical school on how to give bad news - first focus on the positives. She went through the gamut - liver, kidney, inflammation, vitamin levels, iron - all good. Then came coeliac serology - usually both amounts should be under 7, my daughters were 19 and 42. I felt the middle part of my forehead become hot, as a numbness extended through my body. I looked at my husband, who had been listening to the results with me, our eyes caught, and we didn't need any words to communicate what we felt. We shared in that moment an element of sadness and harsh reality. 

 

After the doctor had organised referrals to the appropriate specialists, I hung up the phone. My husband in his usual rational and positive attitude reassured me that it was indeed not the worst thing that could happen, G-d forbid, and I replied "yes - but it's difficult to swallow". No more benching, no more cakes at parties, no more challah, no more matzah. And that in truth is the nutshell of coeliac diagnosis, it's a horrible thing to have, to have to put up with for one's entire life, it's difficult to swallow, but at least it's not life threatening, it's just life changing. 

 

An endoscopy is considered the gold standard in diagnosis. What is difficult to deal with is that she needed to be on a gluten containing diet without lapse prior to the procedure. Getting a procedure date was next to impossible during lockdown. How do you continue giving poison to someone for so long? The days were long, and the nights were even longer. An idea entered our minds and we decided to call a friend of ours who had a personal connection to the top pediatric specialist. Within 10 days the procedure was done. Even during our most trying times we could feel that we were being carried by The One Above.

 

It took me a while for my emunah to catch up to this concept. As my three-year-old son eloquently said about my baby, "she knows how to get up but not how to fall." I now had to learn how to trust, how to let go and how to fall. My brain raced towards the future, to shidduchim, where I had to learn to let go, to understand and to believe that Hashem runs this world, and He in his infinite wisdom and chesed has prepared an extra special chosson for my daughter - someone who will have an extra degree of empathy and selflessness to know that besides someone’s physical medical history, lies a plethora of the most unbelievable positive characteristics that personally blow me away on a daily basis. From her irresistibly sweet laugh, her gorgeous features, her lust for life, her simchas hachaim, her insatiable thirst for knowledge, or her palpable connection to Hashem, the list is inexhaustible and admirable. 

 

I then had to come to terms with the fact that she would not be able to enjoy her beloved fresh, homemade challah, which she took so much pride in plaiting. This was something quite hard for her to deal with too, understandably. We spoke it through together, as she sat curled in my lap, silent, upset, frustrated. This was her new avoida, Hashem did not want her birkas hamazon anymore, He only wanted her borei nefashos, that was good enough. As I write this my eyes still well up as I recall listening to her sweet benching. I recall with pride how she pointed at each word in the benching. Nonetheless, this is His will, and it is therefore, only for the good.

 

So since then we have moved on, with Hashem's help. We faced the sedation and biopsy, and we are on the other, wheat free side. When the gastroenterologist called today with the result, which we already knew, we celebrated. We went out with her sisters to the boutique kosher patisserie and we splurged on gluten free exquisite macarons and a giant gluten free cookie for her. We ate, and toasted to her new way of serving Hashem, and we were happy. Well, outwardly anyway. And on the inside, well, it is coming along. We are stocking up on the best gluten free goodies in town. We are focusing on what she can eat, what her options are. While she may never again enjoy her Shabbos challah, she will be a pro at making it, braiding it, and taking it**.

 

Since writing this article, 2 of her younger brothers have also been diagnosed with coeliac. Hashem in his infinite kindness eased us into this new avoida starting with my daughter first, and once we'd settled with that knowledge, the other 2 blows were a little softer. 

 

My hope is that anyone reading this article will gain chizuk from the knowledge that having children diagnosed with coeliac disease is indeed difficult. It is ok to feel overwhelmed, afraid, and sad. But to know that it is a gift from Hashem and one can gain invaluable strength and gratitude from having to work through such a test. It also begs for those around who can eat regular wheat breads and snacks, to be appreciative of their privilege to bench and praise Hashem for their unrestricted diet.

[**Roughly 50% of those diagnosed with coeliac disease are able to tolerate oats. We will endeavour to undergo an "oat challenge" a year after her diagnosis, where she will undergo a further biopsy after ingesting oats. Our hope and tefilla is that she will IYH be able to tolerate oats and then be able to once again eat challah and bench. Oats are the only grain out of the 5 grains that doesn't contain gluten, yet is able to contribute to all the same mitzvos as wheat would. My daughter is poised for the challenge!]

A little world of our own

A little world of our own*

By Lauren Raymond

I recently watched the new episode of Shabbat.com’s “Soon by You”. What caught my attention, was that one of the characters did not have Facebook, or any other social media connection.

How refreshing! Something I can actually connect to! This is so because I am in the same blessed situation.

Almost 5 years ago, I had a smart phone, and a Facebook account. Oh how I loved sitting for hours not only connecting with friends, but also scanning through the many pages of wedding photos – of friends of friends, of people with whom I had absolutely no connection whatsoever!! My husband (who had taken himself off Facebook after our engagement) gently and considerately suggested that I take myself off Facebook and enjoy spending my voyeuristic hours on somethings more meaningful. I declined. Many times. How on earth would I still keep in contact with all my friends across the globe? How would I know who is having a simcha? I needed Facebook to keep these connections – it was the only way!!

Or so I thought.

On a belated honeymoon to Israel with our 2 kids, and my Mom(!), I realised that all the people I needed so desperately to keep in contact with, were as easily reached with an email, or by a phone call. We were so busy while we were there, that I had no time to sit and flick through photos of friends’ friends. And you guessed it – I didn’t even miss it. Not one little bit. I actually enjoyed it!

So on our return to Australia, I decided to quit Facebook. No more pings, no more notifications, no more threads to follow. My quality time with my kids and my husband improved dramatically, and I had no pressure to post witty comments for others to ‘like’. In a way, I felt liberated from a slavery that I had no idea I was consumed by.

I kept in contact with friends and family the not-so-old-fashioned way – emails and phone calls. In fact, it made relationships even more meaningful. To send out or receive a fully personalised email with photo attachments not targeted to the 1,283 friends who may or may not see it, felt special.

I am fully aware that in this day and age, social media, as well as smart phones, are part and parcel of society. Despite this, I think it may be a healthy point to consider that concerning most things in life, we have a choice. We can choose to be plugged in 24/6 to our technology, we can choose to make parameters and discipline ourselves with limited times on our phones, and we can also choose to disconnect completely, and to reconnect with a feeling of times gone by. A time when family and the ‘here and now’ felt more real, more colourful, and more personal.

I’m not preaching for people to leave their social media fortresses, I’m just throwing out the idea to be able to appreciate our lives in a way where a space free of preoccupation and distraction could lay a foundation of unique memories, unmarred by the pesky pings that we have become all too familiar with.

*Thank you to Hamodia for allowing us to publish this.

What Goes Around, Comes Around

I've been blessed with talents but choosing an esrog isn't one of them! My Rabbi has sent me back to the arba minim store a dozen times in pursuit of the perfect esrog.

One year, a few weeks before sukkos, I made my way down to the arba minim store knowing that this would be the first of many visits that year. I managed to find satisfaction knowing that the effort spent in securing a mehudar esrog is part of the mitzvah.

Whilst looking at the esrogim, trying to determine whether it was a lemon or a Chazon Ish Esrog, I bumped into a posek, Rabbi Sax (named changed). I asked him if he wouldn't mind helping me and he said he would be happy to do so. Rabbi Sax was also particular in getting a Chazon Ish esrog and proceeded to find a mehudar one. I was over the moon with joy that I had been giving siyata dishmaya in finding a mehudar esrog on the first go.

Sukkos arrived and as I was sitting in shul, I felt a tap on my shoulder. It was Rabbi Sax!  Rabbi Sax wished me a gut yom tov and then proceeded to explain what had happened to his esrog. His esrog had unfortunately become pasul. Rabbi Sax continued and said that he had taken the time to select my chazon ish esrog and knew he could rely on its kashrus. He asked if he could borrow it for the purpose of the mitzvah on condition that he return it shortly after. Obviously I was happy to return the favour!

A Smile or a Kind Word Goes a Long Way

Last week at work a colleague stopped me to tell the following story:

The night before, whilst at a family dinner, he was relating to his family that some promotions had occurred at work. His son, now a nineteen year old man, asked him whether Ben had received a promotion. I asked him how his son knew me. He related that nine years ago (when his son was nine!) he had taken his son to work. He said I must have been nice to him because he remembered me and asks how I'm doing from time to time.

A smile or a kind word can go a long way!

Hashgacha Pratis

The story occurred shortly after the birth of our fourth child.

My wife woke up on a Shabbos morning and wasn't able to move her neck. She put it down to sleeping in an awkward position.  I recall there being a physical therapist not far from our house so I walked there. I'm not sure what my intention was. My wife wouldn't have been able to walk there even if the therapist had agreed to see her without payment on the day or how he would be agreeable to walk to our home whilst leaving his office. Anyhow, I walked up the stairs with my black hat and jacket. I opened the door and to my dismay there was a yoga class in session. It turns out he didn't work on Shabbos!

I decided I would walk a bit further and see what would happen: "HaMaichin mitzadei gaver," HaShem prepares the footsteps of Man. I ended up walking just short of a mile from my house. Success! I had found a physical therapist. The problem was the door was motion activated. I would have to wait for someone to walk in and I would have to follow suit. I waited some fifteen minutes but to no avail. I knew I would have to get home shortly to help my wife with the kids.

I was about to call it a day when a man with a black hat and jacket said, "Good Shabbos, looks like you're waiting for a bus." It turns out I was waiting near a bus stop. I laughed and said, "No, actually I'm waiting for the physical therapist."  He said, "Why do you need a physical therapist?" I explained what had happened to my wife. He laughed and said he was a physical therapist and was happy to come to my home to help. I couldn't believe it! I told him I didn't want to put him out. He would end up missing a large chunk of the morning services. I asked what shul he was going to and he named the shul next door to my place!

He ended up coming to our place and helping us out. We've used him countless times again. He also ended up lending us his portable massage table which my wife used when she opened up her remedial massage practice.

The Yetzer Hara and His Many Tricks

The Yetzer Hora and His Many Tricks

By Benji Raymond

Reward is what Hashem wanted to give,

So he gave us a life of mitzvos to live.

Hashem created a yetzer tov for us too,

So that the right choice would be clearer for us to do.

“That’s not so hard,” you may proclaim,

But in Olam Haba you may feel shame,

So a yetzer hora Hashem did make,

And by conquering it, more reward you will be able to take.

The yetzer hora has many tricks up his sleeve,

And to our aveiros he really loves to cleave.

Mitzvos too – the yetzer hora is okay to do,

But not right now – maybe in an hour or two.

If you’re unsure if something is an aveirah or not,

Think this thought and a mitzvah you will spot:

A mitzvah, the yetzer hora loves to take time first to think about,

Whereas aveiros need to be done now without a doubt.

Taking is what the yetzer hora does best,

Giving tzedakah is his greatest test.

If it’s difficult to say no to an aveirah and hard to resist,

Try waiting a few moments before you insist.

  

The yetzer hora enjoys worrying about what will be,

It keeps him busy so mitzvos he will flee.

All of these things give the yetzer hora a stronger stance,

So that the yetzer tov will not stand a chance.

Too little sleep can make our yetzer tov weak,

and make mitzvos look oh so bleak.

So listen to your parents and go to bed without delay,

Then your yetzer tov will be strong and hold more sway.

Eating too many treats makes our yetzer hora grow,

It makes our aveiros have a greater glow.

So rather eat your Mommy’s healthy food,

And the yetzer hora will not be so shrewd.

If you think your yetzer hora is the stronger of the two,

Or maybe you’ve lost a battle, or even a few,

Then daven to Hashem for help to get you through,

You will see that mitzvos He will help you do.

You’ve gone too far, you may hear the yetzer hora say,

But that’s just one of his tricks to keep your mitzvos at bay.

There is always a way to start things anew,

Start by finding a mitzvah you love to do.

   

The Torah is the vitamin which makes the yetzer tov grow strong,

It helps us so that we can learn not to do wrong.

With Torah we can conquer the yetzer hora every day,

And live a life of happiness and joy in every way.

The Angels of Love, Life and Hope
by Benji Raymond

There, just beyond the reach of the most graceful bird, lives the Angels of Love, Life and Hope. These three angels spend the little free time they have waiting and watching. They take great pleasure in the minute details that often go unseen by the majority of angels. From the highest of the clouds they sit and wander about the purpose of life. After a moment in silence, they almost always seem to unite with a familiar smile. This sure enough relates to the idea that they need not ponder about the principles and rationales of life that seem to plague the average human being. On the contrary, they understand all of this already.

The Angels of Love, Life and Hope are certainly no more significant than the many other angels. And yet, every now and then there continues to be the odd one or two envious angels that snicker about their work being effortless and trouble free. But by no means do these three entities acknowledge what they do as mere day-to-day errands. No, their purpose is far more profound than that.

These Angels are unbound by the constraints of time, and though their work appears to be unforced, they take great pride in the wonders of their service. But perhaps it is necessary to tell you about their work, since this is after all the reason why I am introducing you to them.

In a predictably unpredictable moment of time, a baby is born, and who might be better to welcome this new being into the world than the Angels of Love, Life and Hope. This child requires a message, a glimmer of hope that will assist it in its new life.

In this moment of time, the supernatural beings sit and smile since they can see what lies ahead of the child. They take note of the adversity that will almost certainly follow in the midst of the child’s footsteps but they only appear to recognize and appreciate the happiness, accomplishment and triumph.

The angels think for a moment and then the angel of love says: ”You will inevitably fall in love, and at times there will be rainbows in the valleys and at other moments there will be storms below the clouds. There will be times when you will agree with your partner, but undoubtedly there will be times when you will quarrel. Cherish both of these times; for love is a cycle. You will meet people like and dissimilar to yourself. You will laugh with them and cry with them, too. Time will appear to go quickly when spent with them. These people will care for you and love you.”

There remains a certain respect between each of the three angels and when the one angel finishes her message, there is a moment of silence. Although this moment is understandably a second or two in duration, it mysteriously appears to be far longer.

Then the angel of Life says: "You will need to work hard in the many years ahead. Your dreams will not be easily achieved. Your goals will not be effortlessly reached. There will be tears shed in tough times. Nevertheless, there will also be tears when there is joy. Some days you will lack desire to carry on but these days will not last long; for darkness only appears until the light returns. On these days, work extra hard and smile even if there is no reason to smile, for each smile creates a new spark, a new smile in return."

Then the angel of Hope says: "Days may speed by as fast as light but may also go as slow as a snail trying to reach its far off destination. You must learn to love these days, the progressive ones and the rapid ones, for the sluggish days are the ones in which you will reflect and grow and on the swift days you will enjoy life but may consequently not spiritually gain."

It is precisely after this sentence that the angels state in unison;
"Always remember that the sun will rise at dawn, that each day is a new day and that as long as morning sunshine continues to wake you from the core of your dreams, you must continue to have faith and hope."

And with that last thought, the angels wave goodbye and disappear into the thin air and the newly born opens its eyelids ready to begin the life long journey of growth and discovery that awaits us all.

The Flip Side