A little world of our own

A little world of our own*

By Lauren Raymond

I recently watched the new episode of Shabbat.com’s “Soon by You”. What caught my attention, was that one of the characters did not have Facebook, or any other social media connection.

How refreshing! Something I can actually connect to! This is so because I am in the same blessed situation.

Almost 5 years ago, I had a smart phone, and a Facebook account. Oh how I loved sitting for hours not only connecting with friends, but also scanning through the many pages of wedding photos – of friends of friends, of people with whom I had absolutely no connection whatsoever!! My husband (who had taken himself off Facebook after our engagement) gently and considerately suggested that I take myself off Facebook and enjoy spending my voyeuristic hours on somethings more meaningful. I declined. Many times. How on earth would I still keep in contact with all my friends across the globe? How would I know who is having a simcha? I needed Facebook to keep these connections – it was the only way!!

Or so I thought.

On a belated honeymoon to Israel with our 2 kids, and my Mom(!), I realised that all the people I needed so desperately to keep in contact with, were as easily reached with an email, or by a phone call. We were so busy while we were there, that I had no time to sit and flick through photos of friends’ friends. And you guessed it – I didn’t even miss it. Not one little bit. I actually enjoyed it!

So on our return to Australia, I decided to quit Facebook. No more pings, no more notifications, no more threads to follow. My quality time with my kids and my husband improved dramatically, and I had no pressure to post witty comments for others to ‘like’. In a way, I felt liberated from a slavery that I had no idea I was consumed by.

I kept in contact with friends and family the not-so-old-fashioned way – emails and phone calls. In fact, it made relationships even more meaningful. To send out or receive a fully personalised email with photo attachments not targeted to the 1,283 friends who may or may not see it, felt special.

I am fully aware that in this day and age, social media, as well as smart phones, are part and parcel of society. Despite this, I think it may be a healthy point to consider that concerning most things in life, we have a choice. We can choose to be plugged in 24/6 to our technology, we can choose to make parameters and discipline ourselves with limited times on our phones, and we can also choose to disconnect completely, and to reconnect with a feeling of times gone by. A time when family and the ‘here and now’ felt more real, more colourful, and more personal.

I’m not preaching for people to leave their social media fortresses, I’m just throwing out the idea to be able to appreciate our lives in a way where a space free of preoccupation and distraction could lay a foundation of unique memories, unmarred by the pesky pings that we have become all too familiar with.

*Thank you to Hamodia for allowing us to publish this.

What Goes Around, Comes Around

I've been blessed with talents but choosing an esrog isn't one of them! My Rabbi has sent me back to the arba minim store a dozen times in pursuit of the perfect esrog.

One year, a few weeks before sukkos, I made my way down to the arba minim store knowing that this would be the first of many visits that year. I managed to find satisfaction knowing that the effort spent in securing a mehudar esrog is part of the mitzvah.

Whilst looking at the esrogim, trying to determine whether it was a lemon or a Chazon Ish Esrog, I bumped into a posek, Rabbi Sax (named changed). I asked him if he wouldn't mind helping me and he said he would be happy to do so. Rabbi Sax was also particular in getting a Chazon Ish esrog and proceeded to find a mehudar one. I was over the moon with joy that I had been giving siyata dishmaya in finding a mehudar esrog on the first go.

Sukkos arrived and as I was sitting in shul, I felt a tap on my shoulder. It was Rabbi Sax!  Rabbi Sax wished me a gut yom tov and then proceeded to explain what had happened to his esrog. His esrog had unfortunately become pasul. Rabbi Sax continued and said that he had taken the time to select my chazon ish esrog and knew he could rely on its kashrus. He asked if he could borrow it for the purpose of the mitzvah on condition that he return it shortly after. Obviously I was happy to return the favour!

A Smile or a Kind Word Goes a Long Way

Last week at work a colleague stopped me to tell the following story:

The night before, whilst at a family dinner, he was relating to his family that some promotions had occurred at work. His son, now a nineteen year old man, asked him whether Ben had received a promotion. I asked him how his son knew me. He related that nine years ago (when his son was nine!) he had taken his son to work. He said I must have been nice to him because he remembered me and asks how I'm doing from time to time.

A smile or a kind word can go a long way!

Hashgacha Pratis

The story occurred shortly after the birth of our fourth child.

My wife woke up on a Shabbos morning and wasn't able to move her neck. She put it down to sleeping in an awkward position.  I recall there being a physical therapist not far from our house so I walked there. I'm not sure what my intention was. My wife wouldn't have been able to walk there even if the therapist had agreed to see her without payment on the day or how he would be agreeable to walk to our home whilst leaving his office. Anyhow, I walked up the stairs with my black hat and jacket. I opened the door and to my dismay there was a yoga class in session. It turns out he didn't work on Shabbos!

I decided I would walk a bit further and see what would happen: "HaMaichin mitzadei gaver," HaShem prepares the footsteps of Man. I ended up walking just short of a mile from my house. Success! I had found a physical therapist. The problem was the door was motion activated. I would have to wait for someone to walk in and I would have to follow suit. I waited some fifteen minutes but to no avail. I knew I would have to get home shortly to help my wife with the kids.

I was about to call it a day when a man with a black hat and jacket said, "Good Shabbos, looks like you're waiting for a bus." It turns out I was waiting near a bus stop. I laughed and said, "No, actually I'm waiting for the physical therapist."  He said, "Why do you need a physical therapist?" I explained what had happened to my wife. He laughed and said he was a physical therapist and was happy to come to my home to help. I couldn't believe it! I told him I didn't want to put him out. He would end up missing a large chunk of the morning services. I asked what shul he was going to and he named the shul next door to my place!

He ended up coming to our place and helping us out. We've used him countless times again. He also ended up lending us his portable massage table which my wife used when she opened up her remedial massage practice.

The Yetzer Hara and His Many Tricks

The Yetzer Hora and His Many Tricks

By Benji Raymond

Reward is what Hashem wanted to give,

So he gave us a life of mitzvos to live.

Hashem created a yetzer tov for us too,

So that the right choice would be clearer for us to do.

“That’s not so hard,” you may proclaim,

But in Olam Haba you may feel shame,

So a yetzer hora Hashem did make,

And by conquering it, more reward you will be able to take.

The yetzer hora has many tricks up his sleeve,

And to our aveiros he really loves to cleave.

Mitzvos too – the yetzer hora is okay to do,

But not right now – maybe in an hour or two.

If you’re unsure if something is an aveirah or not,

Think this thought and a mitzvah you will spot:

A mitzvah, the yetzer hora loves to take time first to think about,

Whereas aveiros need to be done now without a doubt.

Taking is what the yetzer hora does best,

Giving tzedakah is his greatest test.

If it’s difficult to say no to an aveirah and hard to resist,

Try waiting a few moments before you insist.

  

The yetzer hora enjoys worrying about what will be,

It keeps him busy so mitzvos he will flee.

All of these things give the yetzer hora a stronger stance,

So that the yetzer tov will not stand a chance.

Too little sleep can make our yetzer tov weak,

and make mitzvos look oh so bleak.

So listen to your parents and go to bed without delay,

Then your yetzer tov will be strong and hold more sway.

Eating too many treats makes our yetzer hora grow,

It makes our aveiros have a greater glow.

So rather eat your Mommy’s healthy food,

And the yetzer hora will not be so shrewd.

If you think your yetzer hora is the stronger of the two,

Or maybe you’ve lost a battle, or even a few,

Then daven to Hashem for help to get you through,

You will see that mitzvos He will help you do.

You’ve gone too far, you may hear the yetzer hora say,

But that’s just one of his tricks to keep your mitzvos at bay.

There is always a way to start things anew,

Start by finding a mitzvah you love to do.

   

The Torah is the vitamin which makes the yetzer tov grow strong,

It helps us so that we can learn not to do wrong.

With Torah we can conquer the yetzer hora every day,

And live a life of happiness and joy in every way.

The Angels of Love, Life and Hope
by Benji Raymond

There, just beyond the reach of the most graceful bird, lives the Angels of Love, Life and Hope. These three angels spend the little free time they have waiting and watching. They take great pleasure in the minute details that often go unseen by the majority of angels. From the highest of the clouds they sit and wander about the purpose of life. After a moment in silence, they almost always seem to unite with a familiar smile. This sure enough relates to the idea that they need not ponder about the principles and rationales of life that seem to plague the average human being. On the contrary, they understand all of this already.

The Angels of Love, Life and Hope are certainly no more significant than the many other angels. And yet, every now and then there continues to be the odd one or two envious angels that snicker about their work being effortless and trouble free. But by no means do these three entities acknowledge what they do as mere day-to-day errands. No, their purpose is far more profound than that.

These Angels are unbound by the constraints of time, and though their work appears to be unforced, they take great pride in the wonders of their service. But perhaps it is necessary to tell you about their work, since this is after all the reason why I am introducing you to them.

In a predictably unpredictable moment of time, a baby is born, and who might be better to welcome this new being into the world than the Angels of Love, Life and Hope. This child requires a message, a glimmer of hope that will assist it in its new life.

In this moment of time, the supernatural beings sit and smile since they can see what lies ahead of the child. They take note of the adversity that will almost certainly follow in the midst of the child’s footsteps but they only appear to recognize and appreciate the happiness, accomplishment and triumph.

The angels think for a moment and then the angel of love says: ”You will inevitably fall in love, and at times there will be rainbows in the valleys and at other moments there will be storms below the clouds. There will be times when you will agree with your partner, but undoubtedly there will be times when you will quarrel. Cherish both of these times; for love is a cycle. You will meet people like and dissimilar to yourself. You will laugh with them and cry with them, too. Time will appear to go quickly when spent with them. These people will care for you and love you.”

There remains a certain respect between each of the three angels and when the one angel finishes her message, there is a moment of silence. Although this moment is understandably a second or two in duration, it mysteriously appears to be far longer.

Then the angel of Life says: "You will need to work hard in the many years ahead. Your dreams will not be easily achieved. Your goals will not be effortlessly reached. There will be tears shed in tough times. Nevertheless, there will also be tears when there is joy. Some days you will lack desire to carry on but these days will not last long; for darkness only appears until the light returns. On these days, work extra hard and smile even if there is no reason to smile, for each smile creates a new spark, a new smile in return."

Then the angel of Hope says: "Days may speed by as fast as light but may also go as slow as a snail trying to reach its far off destination. You must learn to love these days, the progressive ones and the rapid ones, for the sluggish days are the ones in which you will reflect and grow and on the swift days you will enjoy life but may consequently not spiritually gain."

It is precisely after this sentence that the angels state in unison;
"Always remember that the sun will rise at dawn, that each day is a new day and that as long as morning sunshine continues to wake you from the core of your dreams, you must continue to have faith and hope."

And with that last thought, the angels wave goodbye and disappear into the thin air and the newly born opens its eyelids ready to begin the life long journey of growth and discovery that awaits us all.

The Flip Side

Jerusalem

Jerusalem
by Benji Raymond


Golden bricks light up the views
Black hats shower the streets
Milk and honey flow through the land
Faces glow with the illumination of Torah
Hospitality extends beyond reason
Torah is on the lips of all who fear
Kindness echoes in the alleyways
Modesty rises to the heights of the heavens
Knowledge radiates from their souls

The eternal fire warms the winter.

The Flip Side

Religion
by Benji Raymond


It flows through my mind,
But not through my veins.

It swims through my thoughts
But not through my heart.

It is instilled in my sense of truth,
But not in my thirst.

It sits on my fingertips,
But not on the tip of my tongue.

Its presence is evident in my dreams,
But not in my sense of reality.

It lies comfortably in my soul,
But engages awkwardly in my life.

The Flip Side